Darkness is Your Candle

But what shadow has been serving you!
What hurts you, blesses you.
Darkness is your candle.
Your boundaries are your quest.
- Rumi from Enough Words

A couple of weeks ago, I learned an extremely powerful technique that has helped me deal with one of my most debilitating fears. It's applicable to any situation, but for the sake of an example, I'll use it with my fear of Open Mic Nights. (Lately, I've been writing music for grownups, so I've been showcasing these new songs at bars and other places that host these "cattle calls".) The technique can be applied to any situation, however, that you may find full of terror.

It's really quite simple:

STEP ONE (Creating Darkness) I imagine that I'm walking into the venue where the Open Mic is taking place. Next, I try to fully feel all of the fear. In my case, I name things like "I feel out of place and uncomfortable". Then I picture myself waiting to go onstage and becoming progressively more anxious about what I'm going to play, how I'll be received and what I'll sound like. Lastly, I'll see myself onstage and try to create in my heart and in my mind all of the worst feelings that I can muster up.

STEP TWO (Creating Light) I imagine the same scenario with a contrary set of emotions. In my case, I use the word "comfort". I imagine that I'm walking into the venue and it looks and feels like a place where I want to be. I feel very at home and say things to myself like, "It's great to be here!" Then, I imagine the anticipation of going onstage with a feeling of inner joy and harmony with my surroundings. As I step onstage and look at the audience, I drink in the moment and smile because I am where I want to be - singing my wonderful songs as best as I can to an audience who wants to feel passionately connected to great music, too.

STEP THREE (Alternating Darkness and Light). Immediately after step two, I return to step one by creating the fear in my belly, again. Once I'm fully feeling the fear, I return to the same scenario with the comfort. Back and forth I go, shortening the time between fear and comfort but always fully feeling it before moving on.

STEP FOUR (Simultaneous Darkness and Light). The final part is to feel both emotions at the same time. Absolute terror and joyful comfort coexisting in the same moment in time.

The important thing here is to FEEL as if the situation were occurring during this exercise. If you usually get moist palms, then try to create that feeling. The way it was explained to me is this: if we really want to explore, understand and deal with our fear, then we first learn to deal with them in a comfortable place like our own living room. Oftentimes, it does no good to repeatedly put oneself into the real situation because we haven't learned the way to control our emotions, yet.

Over time, I hope to apply this technique out in the "real world" and find that the fear I imagined and felt is no longer perceived as strange and unwelcome. Instead, it will become a known entity, an emotion I understand. I haven't tried it, yet, but I hope that I will be able to move as seamlessly between emotions at my next Open Mic Night as I would in the quiet of my own home.

I hope this technique brings you the courage to walk towards what you are afraid of - not with an absence of fear but a fuller acceptance of that emotion AND the belief that you can feel cleansed by it, too.

Doing the Right Thing

I haven't written in this space in almost two years. During that time, my wife and I have staged two new children's shows: Do the Right Thing (a character education piece for upper elementary) and Beth & Scott's Nutrition Mission. I'm very proud of these two pieces. They are examples of us taking what's often referred to as "The Teacher's Seat"and being very honest with children and teachers. Our values and our vulnerabilities are both on display and I feel very good about that.

Most of my writing energy, however, has been spent composing new songs for grownups. Truth is, I never dreamed about being a children's artist when I was a kid. I wanted to be a singer-songwriter or a rock star. So, now I've now got to the point where I have close to 20 tunes and I'm beginning a new career while maintaining my job as a children's artist. I play one night per week at a local restaurant where I combine my originals with cover tunes from 6-9pm. For the most part, I'm enjoying the experience, though I've recently begun to feel ill at ease when I perform too many cover tunes.

That's not entirely accurate. When I perform for kids my goal is to reach them and teach them. I am expert at controlling the 45-minute experience so that they take a "ride" with me. With grown-ups, however, I feel like I don't want to spend my energy trying to get them to go somewhere. A cover tune is like saying, "Hey, notice me noticing you! I know you love "Brown Eyed Girl" and I'll play it so that you can tap your feet and remember where you were in 1975." I guess I'm saying that I don't want to lead people on a Magical "History" Tour of the 60's and the 70's. Been there and done that, friends.

This is not a finished thought, today. I'm struggling with the needs and wants of the audience and the bar owner versus my desire to connect and play my new tunes. I'm not so sure I want to settle for a balance between the two. I'm not doing this to earn money, so I don't have to be beholden to the almighty dollar. But do I have an obligation to the audience? And what is it exactly? Am I an artist or an entertainer? Don't rush to answer that question with "both" because that's too easy. Think about your favorite musician and wonder, does he or she play cover tunes? Yes, they play their famous songs over and over and that's a drag sometimes. But I know from playing my children's tunes that playing what the audience wants if it's my tune is a lot better than when they ask for something that I haven't written.

I think that this is about the guts to stand up for what I know is right for me. All too often (in the grownup music world), I have bent to the needs of the many and forgotten my own needs as as an artist. I have to stop doing that. As one of my friends said, "You try things out and then see if you can sleep at night." Well, now I know. I realize that I'm on a track where I'll be playing my songs more and cover songs less.

As I said earlier, one of my new kids' shows is called, "Do the Right Thing". That lesson applies to me, too!

Daring to Share: the Lifelong Journey to Soulfulness

Giving of oneself fully and unashamedly to this world, that is to say, the sharing of one's talents without reservation or fear of rejection, is perhaps the greatest gift we can offer to the world. To my mind, there are at least two reasons why everyone can and should do this:

First, it is the guaranteed path to achieving one's smallest wishes and biggest dreams. When one shares their own unique vision, ability or creativity they will most assuredly distinguish themselves from those who would only mimic another's success. Keep in mind, though: small wishes can only ever lead to small achievements! If you dream big (and plan accordingly) you will achieve your greatest desires. I am finding this to be true on a daily basis in my own personal and professional life.

Second, giving of oneself fully and unashamedly to the world is the noblest thing one may do on behalf of not only oneself, but on behalf of the planet. This may sound astounding to you, but I fully believe it. Think about the best people in any field and you will see a list of people who became successful because they dared to be different and dared to share their uniqueness with all of us. Are we not more enriched by their decision? If not for these inventors, scientists, artists and philosophers we would not have the computer I am typing on, the guitar I compose with or the roof that keeps me dry when it rains. We are all grateful and enriched by those who have came before us and left their mark for all time. (By the way, if you are ever feeling blue, I suggest that you make a list of things or people you are grateful for - it's a sure way to get past past one's own "poor pitiful me" moment.)

But, you may be wondering, how can I offer something unique to this world? What contribution is mine to offer? And there are so many obstacles to my success: money, time, energy, family responsibilities, insecurity, lack of contacts or support to name just a few. The list goes on and on when we choose to list our challenges, right? Let's take the "what do I have to offer" part of the problem, first.

You were born with a talent, perhaps more than one, that you have always known is your greatest gift. It may be years since you named it out loud, but I can assure you that it is inside of you today just as it was the day you were born. Let's call it your "soulfulness". More than likely, it is manifesting itself somehow in your life. Perhaps you are a nurturing, gentle mother. Since you were a child, you loved and sincerely cared for others and you are still doing so with your family. This is an amazing gift! There is no doubt that mothers have an important role in our society that extends for generations. But you may want more and I want you to know that this desire to expand is a good one that should be nurtured. Like you love others, you must learn to love yourself so that you can create time in your busy life to expand and share more of your gifts.

This gets to the second part of the question: how do I overcome all the obstacles preventing me from expanding and growing? It may be that you have to ask your spouse, your neighbors, your parents or your children to help you carve out some time each day to start fulfilling your dreams. Ask them and they will surely help you! You have only to start and the answers will become clear - perhaps in a matter of hours. Everyone I have ever met claims to be "too busy" to try new things, but this is your life. Do not take the easy route of claiming to be overwhelmed. Perhaps, if you are truly without time, you need to do some spring cleaning in your life. Start by saying "no" to those offers to be on a committee or to volunteer at the local library. In doing so, you will be saying "yes" to your own dreams. When we spring clean our lives, we get rid of the items that are preventing us from having the room to expand.

In closing, I would like to offer the following advice: do not give up looking for or creating your dreams even when circumstances or other people try and dissuade you from your purpose. As a model, one has only to look at Al Gore's recent success in helping all of us to understand the stakes involved in helping our planet survive. Couldn't Al Gore have thrown in the towel after losing the presidency? Of course, and no one would have expected him to be anything but angry and very bitter. Except, of course, Al himself! He knew he had something to share, a belief that he felt very strongly that he had to offer. For years, he traipsed across the country and it is only in the last few years that people are not only listening, they are acting!

If it makes you feel better, please know that many are with you on this journey. I also have dreams that I am working on and obstacles to deal with, too. But each one of us that chooses to follow their inner path unquestionably influences and encourages many others to do the same. It is my hope that you will find that part of yourself and dare to share it with the world. We need people like you!

"It's okay to want to be an American Idol.
However, it's not okay to be an Idle American."
Scott Bierko 3/1/07

Tuning In

When I first started trying to write songs, nothing happened. I remember being twenty one years old, fresh from college, sitting at a desk in my parent's basement with my head in my hands, looking at a yellow legal pad - for hours. Unfortunately, songs didn't come and I crossed out much more than I ever wrote. Maybe I wrote one song in a year? The songs just didn't come.

Having such an overwhelming desire to express myself musically, this lack of progress was certainly the worst period of my development as a song writer. I considered myself a failure. Even though I was working as a musician, playing gigs in clubs as a solo guitarist covering other people's material, I was very unhappy as a musician. If you can't create, you stop growing. At least I did. And so I quit.

For the next seven years, I worked in the business world. I became a commercial carpet salesman and estimator. I learned a lot about business, lessons I use to this day, but happiness did not come with the financial rewards of working as a salesman. And then, when i was at my lowest moment, I met Beth. And I became inspired.

When Beth and I started writing, creating songs was a crafting process. We thought of an idea or found a book that we wanted to turn into a song. We labored over lyrics, added music that framed it and built performances around themes. For years, this worked well. And I felt that I had reached a point where as a writer, I could say that I was successful. But I wanted more. I knew that crafting songs, while a wonderful skill, was not the same as tapping into the internal and, I believe, spiritual muse. I knew enough about the writing process from interviews with fellow writers to know that journeying includes not only the craft but the channel in which the craft flows. Something inside of me said, "If this is so, then I must find it."

It took more than twelve years to find it. One day, I started writing a song called "Create Without Caution", a song that had as its subject matter my battle to create without concern about craft or what the song sounded like in the end. I was actively learning how to remove the filter that prevented me from truly expressing myself. The chords and the melody came and the lyrics flowed like wine from a jug. There was no anxiety, just a flow - a tapping in to that channel. I had finally found it.

Almost one year later, I can sit down anywhere and at anytime and find that channel. I know where it is and what it feels like in my body. I cannot describe how to get there for anyone else, except to say that one has to keep searching for what one wants. It's in us all. I believe it. One just has to find the frequency.

Entertaining Thoughts

I have two children, both of whom are great kids and great readers. Books have always played a big role in our family because not only do we believe in the importance and enjoyment of reading - we didn't have a television for ten years in our home! Yeah, we're one of those families. Or we used to be.

Last year, we did the unthinkable for Beth and I: we signed up for television to the great delight of our children. We did so, not because we realized that we Bierkoswere missing something special on television, but because Beth and I have expanded to writing music for children's television and we need to know what's in vogue these days. Our children, those lucky munchkins, didn't care WHY we were getting television, they were just tickled to know that they were getting it at all. They literally jumped up and down in a circle when they heard the cable guy was coming to our home.
Now, watching our kids and their relationship to television this past year has been really fascinating and different for each of our children:

Stephanie, our seven-year old, will watch TV for about an hour, maybe two at the most. Then she stands up, looks for us and declares, "Enough! I have to get away from this TV!" There's even been a couple of times when Stephanie has berated Beth and I for bringing TV into her life. (Now, that's not something anyone would have predicted.) So, when Stephanie is tired of the tube, she gets up and looks for a game, a friend to play with or a book. I still find this amazing and, unfortunately, uncommon. Most kids cannot balance their television-watching like Stephanie. Heck, most adults still struggle with this.

In fact, most American children are like my oldest, Helen, who is twelve and in the seventh grade. Helen can watch TV for six hours and only occasionally get up for a bit of food or to go to the bathroom. And, like other parents, we sometimes have to literally stand in front of the television in order to get her attention. My mother used to do that to me, too. She called it being "glued to the set".

Helen, even though she loves reading and is a straight-A student, is vulnerable to the passive, calming enjoyment of watching television. As we all know, this is extremely common in our society. My darling Helen is not strange or different from other kids. Uh, uh. In truth, it is Stephanie who is the "strange" child in our home with regard to TV.

As such, I believe that parents everywhere must be struggling with this question: "What do I do about it? How can I get my child away from the TV, the computer, the video games and back into the world of creative play or using their imaginations?" They want to know, "What's the answer and where can we find it?"

The answer, or one of them, is not to be found in a store. It doesn't even cost money! The answer to the question "How can I get my child away from the TV?" is that PARENTS need to provide children with something else that will interest them equally. And for that they have to take a step, a big step... backwards.

Backwards, you say? Yes. Some of the answers to today's vexing parenting problems are not to be found in the newest technological gadgets: the computer, the video game box, the mp3 player or, yes, the 42" HDTV parked where the piano used to be in every home. The answer is in yesterday - backwards - because it's something that's been around for kids and for families for as long as anyone can remember. It's stories, it's music, and
it's games.

The old-fashioned practice of getting together in a room, playing some fun games, singing some songs and reading or telling stories is as effective today as it has always has been. And, interestingly, we can see that stories, songs and games are exactly what TV, I-Pods and Video Games are all about, too. Think about the hit-show, American Idol: it's really just a singing game with a back-story! And Video Games, especially the warring kind or the sports ones, they're just replacements for the old-fashioned games like "war" that we used to play in my neighborhood.

Speaking of sports, what ever happened to throwing a football or skateboarding in the driveway? Well, now it's John Madden's Football or Tony Hawk's Skateboarding video games. That's a bit of a problem, not because these games are inherently bad - they're actually quite awesome! (I know one adult who has a job that keeps him idle at home for days at a time and he is toally hooked on these games.)

Therefore, to "un-glue" our kids - at least temporarily - we need to actively disengage them. We need to take the controllers out of their hands and lead them to a place where they can go do these activites themselves. Let me repeat that once more: our kids need us to help pull them in another direction.

Our role, as singers and writers, has always been to create live programs and products that are fun and educational alternatives for kids and families. But now, we do so with an increased knowledge (as parents ourselves) of the value that music and community has for our audiences. We see our role as more of an imperative, not just a diversion for children. And that's one of the main reasons Beth & Scott are starting to think about working in TV.

Beginning in March, 2007 we will begin creating television shows that will be available for viewing on the web. Our first show will be shot in Tennessee with the help of our longtime producer and friend, Jeff Coplan. Our goal is to create short-form videos that children, parents and educators can enjoy - videos that will entertain, educate and inspire. Watch this space and our web site for more information as it becomes available.

Oh, by the way - remember Helen, our dedicated TV watcher? Well, shortly after I wrote the first part of this entry, she lost her TV privileges for a couple of nights and here's what happened: Helen picked up a book and finished it. She also invented a new recipe for cookies with her sister that we're all enjoying today (me love cookies).

And me? Well, I've been writing a lot more songs since I've taken a breather from writing emails. Admittedly, we're not getting away from the TV or the computer anytime soon, but we're all of us a little happier when we unplug long enough to access the creative part inside of us all. That's what we hope to achieve with our new material, including our WEB-TV project. We hope to see you there!

Grandpa Scott

While filming our video, now dubbed, "Beth & Scott: Live in Concert", I had a really interesting moment. About half way through, I thought, "I'm doing this for my grandchildren." For those of you who don't know me, I'm 44 and a long way from becomming a grandparent, but that thought did happen and it was a beautiful, pure moment for me. Why? Well, there's lots of reasons to do a video, most of which are related to fame and fortune. but it never had crossed my mind to make a video of us for the next generation. It just never occurred to me. So, the thought of "I'm making this for my grandchildren" was by itself unattached to any motivation that I was aware of. It just bubbled up to the surface and surprised the heck out of me while I was busy giving the performance of my life. Weird, huh?

As I think about it, I have to offer up a truth that many of you might find astonishing: our children, Helen (12) and Stephanie (7) would rather do just about anything than hear us sing and play for children. On the surface, at least, they are openly embarrassed by our job - even though they both have clearly benefited from it as budding artists, themselves. I clearly remember them literally crawling under a table to avoid the audience's gaze during our shows. Helen, in particular, has forbid us to mention her name during a performance and Stephanie, a much lighter soul, has recently made it clear that she'd rather stay home than attend a show. It truly perplexes Helen to hear other kids, even some her own age, praisie her parents. Yeah, I'm aware that this is very normal for a 12 year old growing up in the shadow of parents who get a lot of attention. And it may change. I know.

When I was a kid, my parents acted in community theater. Granted, they did so infrequently, but I was thrilled to see them on stage. I rushed to join them when I could. My brother and I were newsboys in a production fo "Gypsy" and we've been acting ever since. My parents loved music. The stereo was always on in our home. My dad was a very funny man and he passed a lot of his humor onto Craig, my brother, and me. I think it's fair to say that I idolized my father as a young boy.I guess that's why it's hard to hear my child say, "I don't want to see you sing." It's painful, even if I understand some of the reasons she feels the way she does.

So, I'm waiting for the next generation in my family to enjoy what Beth and I have accomplished! My grandchildren, I hope, will have an entirely different perspective of us than our kids. I suppose that's the reason why the the thought, "I'm doing this for my grandchildren" came up during filming. It was a moment when I hoped that I'd have a less complicated relationship with my grandchildren about our career than I do with my own kids. Then again, I can picture Helen saying to her kids, "Yeah, it looks like they're having fun up there - but it was horrible for me and Stephanie."