I'm reading the new book, "The Beatles", by Bob Spitz. It's been a long time since I've read a Beatles bio (I'm a huge fan, of course) and my mom got me a copy of the book for Christmas. She also got me a copy of Paul's new CD.
I'm up to the part of their history just prior to their first recording when they fired Pete Best and hired Ringo Starr. When I was a kid, I felt badly for Pete Best. Who wouldn't? The guy was by all accounts the best looking guy in the band and McCartney was extremely jealous of him. In this particular version, the author takes pains to point out that his drumming wasn't as good as Ringo's. If that's true, he did need to be sacked. But quality and history be damned, it was still a rough move for a band that eventually became as big as The Beatles.
I felt even worse for Pete Best when I read that no one felt particularly bad about his being sacked. Here's a guy who gigged with John, Paul and George for years in Hamburg and in Liverpool, making lousy money and living in squallor. To my knowledge not one of The Beatles has ever said, "Poor Pete. He got a bum rap. Wish we could have handled it better." Did any of them think to throw Pete a few million pounds? Doubtful. That would be like saying, "I'm sorry" and they definitely were not sorry.
Truth is, The Beatles were savagely ambitious like many "successful" artists or businesspeople. They wanted nothing more than what they got - fame, fortune and lots of adoring "birds". The music was important, sure, but the main thing that motivated these middle class boys was the allure of riches and attention. And boy, did they get their wish.
I would even argue that they got much of what they wanted in part because they were ambitious to a fault. While the rest of us got a lasting legacy of wonderful music, The Beatles, themselves, received what amounted to a life of seclusion and fawning and "it'll never be as good as yer old stuff, Paul." And you know what? It ain't! Paul's new CD is pretty, well...weak.
Certainly, I'm in no postion to judge these guys. After all, they were in their early 20's and without any of the benefit of hindsight that I'm applying to their behavior and subsequent success. It's not altogether fair for me to berate them and question the decisions that they made in concert with George Martin for the betterment of their sound. Any company that keeps on its weaker employees just because they have a soft spot in their heart is well...doomed to be less successful, huh? Yeah, I think that's the hard truth.
But I'm wondering - and here's my question/concern - do Beth and I lack the necessary ambition and ruthlessness to make it in the big leagues? Are we stuck at our current level (at the top of our musical game in our early 40's) because we lack the drive to push forward with an intensity that knows no bounds? Part of me has always believed this to be true. I worry that we're too nice and not egocentric enough to break through to the top. Are we the victims of our own philosopy which is to be peaceful, to treat others with respect and love so much so that we're unwilling to see our friends in the business as competitors to be beaten? Hmmmmm.
The Beatles and many folks I know of in the business world had what some refer to as a "healthy animosity for the competition". There exists - and we all know it - a certain type of animalistic, dog-eat-dog mentality that is shared by many in this world who acheive material wealth and fame in the arts, politics or business. To me, that is scary and yet I feel that I have to face that fear in order to transcend it. I cannot let it stop us in our quest to be better, to let more kids hear us, and - yes - to acheive more fame and fortune for me and my family.
And so, I am left with this conundrum: I believe in my heart that Beth and I have been selling ourselves short for years. I believe that we're far better than our current station and deserving of much more material success. I believe that we have much more to write and say that can be beneficial to children and families if we can only get ourselves into a position of power where our voices are heard. And, yet, I look at what we have acheived - a new home, a successful mom and pop business with a great reputation in our corner of the world that feeds our family and makes a lot of kids happy. Who are we to want more? Who are we to crave the trappings of fame and fortune? Y'see I can talk myself into a corner quite well, thank you very much.
Well, we're not Lennon and McCartney. And there's no Pete Best in our band. And we're not destined for BethandScottomania. I don't even know why I worry so much about stuff like this at all sometimes. But then there's a little voice inside of me that keeps repeating, "You're scared, Scott. Don't get side-tracked and start today in a direction that leads you in the direction that you want to go. Face your fear of failure or success and forget about what anyone else thinks about your career. This is the only shot you get at life. Believe in yourself and your dreams (you wrote a song called that, remember?). Now, go for it and let the chips fall where they may. No regrets. Do it."
Okay, I've shared that with you. I've said it aloud. Now, let's see what I'm made of.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Friday, December 09, 2005
Happy, but hard, Holidays
The holidays are a busy time - some might say a crazy time. Am I the first to notice this? Per usual, we're booked solid for December performing our show, "Happy Holidays Around the World", a celebration of Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and Christmas in four different states.
It is the middle of the month (12/15) and our band of five performers has been rocked by everything from stomach flu, stress and sore voices. I'm happy to report, though, that we continue to rally on behalf of our goal to deliver great shows. The children, teachers and parents have been very complimentary and I am very proud of our band of brothers and sisters.
Today, Beth and Liz performed together because Larry - a man who NEVER cancels - was out with the flu. Katherine came off the bench and performed with me at a preschool where we had to go off-book more often than not. A triple "BRAVA" to these wonderful women! And tomorrow Larry will return after a one-day (phew!) rest to perform with Liz in Astoria as we all cross our fingers that the transit strike will not cripple our efforts. Sound like fun?
Lastly, I give thanks to my mother who has been schlepping up to Yorktown to help mind our children. Typically we leave the house at 7:00 a.m., so my mom has been wonderful in getting the kids to school every day. We couldn't do it without you, Mom!
Like many businesses, we depend upon the the holidays for a substantial part of our income, so we always have our fingers crossed that all of our plans work out. Truth is, we often have to punt or re-write the playbook while the game is happening. I won't tell you that this is enjoyable. Beth and I have spent many a December night worrying that some sort of straw that breaks the camel's back will befall our small company.
Somehow, it all works out fine, though. And just when we've had our fill of singing "I Have a Little Dreydel", the season is over and we miss seeing Liz, Larry and Katherine every day. We even miss the excitement of driving somewhere new every morning in the freezing cold and not knowing how a show will go, or if the PA equipment will work, or if a guitar string will break in the middle of a song or if the school's band will be on the stage when we get to the gig. I guess part of us must thrive living on the edge!
It is the middle of the month (12/15) and our band of five performers has been rocked by everything from stomach flu, stress and sore voices. I'm happy to report, though, that we continue to rally on behalf of our goal to deliver great shows. The children, teachers and parents have been very complimentary and I am very proud of our band of brothers and sisters.
Today, Beth and Liz performed together because Larry - a man who NEVER cancels - was out with the flu. Katherine came off the bench and performed with me at a preschool where we had to go off-book more often than not. A triple "BRAVA" to these wonderful women! And tomorrow Larry will return after a one-day (phew!) rest to perform with Liz in Astoria as we all cross our fingers that the transit strike will not cripple our efforts. Sound like fun?
Lastly, I give thanks to my mother who has been schlepping up to Yorktown to help mind our children. Typically we leave the house at 7:00 a.m., so my mom has been wonderful in getting the kids to school every day. We couldn't do it without you, Mom!
Like many businesses, we depend upon the the holidays for a substantial part of our income, so we always have our fingers crossed that all of our plans work out. Truth is, we often have to punt or re-write the playbook while the game is happening. I won't tell you that this is enjoyable. Beth and I have spent many a December night worrying that some sort of straw that breaks the camel's back will befall our small company.
Somehow, it all works out fine, though. And just when we've had our fill of singing "I Have a Little Dreydel", the season is over and we miss seeing Liz, Larry and Katherine every day. We even miss the excitement of driving somewhere new every morning in the freezing cold and not knowing how a show will go, or if the PA equipment will work, or if a guitar string will break in the middle of a song or if the school's band will be on the stage when we get to the gig. I guess part of us must thrive living on the edge!
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Classical Music
I'm wondering today about how the classical arts are introduced to children. Please read on and see if your experiences are anything like mine...
When I was a kid in elementary school, we took field trips to hear classical music concerts and see the ballet. I'm not going to lie. I was totally bored by these experiences. It's interesting how these early experiences defined my impression of music because I haven't given classical concertizing (or ballet) much positive thought in the intervening thirty years. Sure, I bought some CDs, but I generally play classical music as the background to other things. Shameless, I know, but probably pretty common.
Fast forward to last night. My friends Barbara Seisel and Keith Torgan invited us to a recital that Barbara was giving in Poughkeepsie, about an hour north of our home in Yorktown, NY. Did I jump up in down saying, "Oh, boy! A chance to reinvestigate the classical world?" No, siree. In fact. I asked the person taking our tickets how long the show was going to be. I did NOT have high expectations.
Ironically, this indifferent state is the ideal way for me to be exposed to something wonderful. I've enjoyed many plays, records or museums when I entered with a feeling of numbness or ho-hummness. Last night was no different. And while I can't say that I left the theater a converted disciple of the classical idiom, I did connect to the experience.
As I've gotten older, I have been attracted to things like quiet time, reading, meditation, yoga and journal writing. I am more reflective, less prone to the quick fix of rock 'n roll and more attracted to the vision of falling leaves or a good historical novel. It should come as no surprise, then, that I'm coming into a life passage where classical music might be more relevent to me. Perhaps I'm ready to recognize and appreciate what I've been too busy to hear. And, I think, this type of music was introduced to me too early as a child. In fact, I was turned off by the stuffiness of the concert hall! Is this true for others like me? You bet.
I know from my conversations with Barbara that she worries about the state of classical music in our culture. She is searching for ways to connect to kids. In fact, Barbara and her wonderfully talented husband, Keith, have begun to do concerts that introduce children to the classical idiom. To hear me enthusiastic about my experience via email today was probably the greatest compliment I could have given her. I hope I can help Barbara in her quest!
I know that many PTAs still insist on taking children to the ballet, opera and the symphony. Perhaps, we should all take a look at what we're taking them to see. Is Beethoven or Bach as appropriate as something more modern, edgy or visually stimulating? I encourage PTA moms to think less of what kids need (like vegetables) and more about what they might enjoy. No, I'm not suggesting junk food music. But I do know this: when I was eight years old my parents and my guitar teacher kept me interested in music by adapting to my likes and dislikes. If they had force-fed me music that did not appeal to me I would not be a musician today.
When I was a kid in elementary school, we took field trips to hear classical music concerts and see the ballet. I'm not going to lie. I was totally bored by these experiences. It's interesting how these early experiences defined my impression of music because I haven't given classical concertizing (or ballet) much positive thought in the intervening thirty years. Sure, I bought some CDs, but I generally play classical music as the background to other things. Shameless, I know, but probably pretty common.
Fast forward to last night. My friends Barbara Seisel and Keith Torgan invited us to a recital that Barbara was giving in Poughkeepsie, about an hour north of our home in Yorktown, NY. Did I jump up in down saying, "Oh, boy! A chance to reinvestigate the classical world?" No, siree. In fact. I asked the person taking our tickets how long the show was going to be. I did NOT have high expectations.
Ironically, this indifferent state is the ideal way for me to be exposed to something wonderful. I've enjoyed many plays, records or museums when I entered with a feeling of numbness or ho-hummness. Last night was no different. And while I can't say that I left the theater a converted disciple of the classical idiom, I did connect to the experience.
As I've gotten older, I have been attracted to things like quiet time, reading, meditation, yoga and journal writing. I am more reflective, less prone to the quick fix of rock 'n roll and more attracted to the vision of falling leaves or a good historical novel. It should come as no surprise, then, that I'm coming into a life passage where classical music might be more relevent to me. Perhaps I'm ready to recognize and appreciate what I've been too busy to hear. And, I think, this type of music was introduced to me too early as a child. In fact, I was turned off by the stuffiness of the concert hall! Is this true for others like me? You bet.
I know from my conversations with Barbara that she worries about the state of classical music in our culture. She is searching for ways to connect to kids. In fact, Barbara and her wonderfully talented husband, Keith, have begun to do concerts that introduce children to the classical idiom. To hear me enthusiastic about my experience via email today was probably the greatest compliment I could have given her. I hope I can help Barbara in her quest!
I know that many PTAs still insist on taking children to the ballet, opera and the symphony. Perhaps, we should all take a look at what we're taking them to see. Is Beethoven or Bach as appropriate as something more modern, edgy or visually stimulating? I encourage PTA moms to think less of what kids need (like vegetables) and more about what they might enjoy. No, I'm not suggesting junk food music. But I do know this: when I was eight years old my parents and my guitar teacher kept me interested in music by adapting to my likes and dislikes. If they had force-fed me music that did not appeal to me I would not be a musician today.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Home Concerts
Last night, Beth and I invited the neighbors over for an event we're calling "First Saturday". Every month, we're opening up our home to create an evening of singing and good times. By all accounts, this first "First Saturday" was a real hit! Our friends left with big smiles and some could even be heard singing "Kumbaya" as they paraded down the street to their home. Now, that's spreading a little joy, huh?
Although this post is a bit off-topic for "Music for Chidren", it's relevant if anyone out there is interested in hosting these types of events. I find it essential for adults to allow the child inside of them to be let out to play, don't you? Music, and folk rock music in particular, is certainly a way to help make that happen. We, all of us, have a connection to music and I'm very happy to open up our home to allow friends to express that part of themselves. Anyway, on with the story...
We were very nervous - as we always are - about bringing guests into our home. Beth and I don't throw a lot of parties, so we're kind of anxious in those couple of hours leading up to an event. I'm not kidding when I say that I felt like stopping the world for a minute to practice some deep breathing. Geez, do other people get so crazy when people are coming over to their homes? I'm sure that some of my nerves were based upon a desire to make everything work out "perfectly".
Nerves nonwithstanding, the event began and ended well. Guitars, mandolins, trombones and bass guitars were unpacked. Song sheets flowed around the room along with small percussion instruments and, yes, a glass or two of vino. We began with a song by The Band called "The Weight" and I magically felt the weight leave my shoulders as I began doing what I love best: singing, playing and being a pied piper. What fun!
It didn't take long for old friends and new ones to begin harmonizing, laughing and letting go of any inhibitions that they may have brought along with them. Every time I looked up, I saw smiles. It was fun to watch my friend Holly pick up a triangle for the perfect accent to a song, to watch Elliot switch between trombone and keyboards so effortlessly and hear Lenny keep us grounded with his bass. Next door neighbor, Bill, played and sang wonderfully on his beautiful Guild guitars and Beth, Dorit and Jen held down the women's vocal lines. Across the room, I watched Scott close his eyes to enjoy the warmth of the room while his wife Joy and friends Patty and Charles sang (or tapped along in Charles' case). A small and wonderful group, indeed, that I'm quite certain will return as the nucleus of future events.
One of the many blessings for me was the easy way in which people who had never or rarely played and sang together complimented one another so well. I return again to my thoughts of dis-ease that began the night for me and compare that with the way the evening actually played out. It's hard for me to express it in words because I feel so deeply connected to not the words, but to the feelings behind what occured here last night. I guess you just have to be there sometimes. "There" in this case meant being very present, emotinally and spiritually atuned.
To me, it's the best way to live.
Although this post is a bit off-topic for "Music for Chidren", it's relevant if anyone out there is interested in hosting these types of events. I find it essential for adults to allow the child inside of them to be let out to play, don't you? Music, and folk rock music in particular, is certainly a way to help make that happen. We, all of us, have a connection to music and I'm very happy to open up our home to allow friends to express that part of themselves. Anyway, on with the story...
We were very nervous - as we always are - about bringing guests into our home. Beth and I don't throw a lot of parties, so we're kind of anxious in those couple of hours leading up to an event. I'm not kidding when I say that I felt like stopping the world for a minute to practice some deep breathing. Geez, do other people get so crazy when people are coming over to their homes? I'm sure that some of my nerves were based upon a desire to make everything work out "perfectly".
Nerves nonwithstanding, the event began and ended well. Guitars, mandolins, trombones and bass guitars were unpacked. Song sheets flowed around the room along with small percussion instruments and, yes, a glass or two of vino. We began with a song by The Band called "The Weight" and I magically felt the weight leave my shoulders as I began doing what I love best: singing, playing and being a pied piper. What fun!
It didn't take long for old friends and new ones to begin harmonizing, laughing and letting go of any inhibitions that they may have brought along with them. Every time I looked up, I saw smiles. It was fun to watch my friend Holly pick up a triangle for the perfect accent to a song, to watch Elliot switch between trombone and keyboards so effortlessly and hear Lenny keep us grounded with his bass. Next door neighbor, Bill, played and sang wonderfully on his beautiful Guild guitars and Beth, Dorit and Jen held down the women's vocal lines. Across the room, I watched Scott close his eyes to enjoy the warmth of the room while his wife Joy and friends Patty and Charles sang (or tapped along in Charles' case). A small and wonderful group, indeed, that I'm quite certain will return as the nucleus of future events.
One of the many blessings for me was the easy way in which people who had never or rarely played and sang together complimented one another so well. I return again to my thoughts of dis-ease that began the night for me and compare that with the way the evening actually played out. It's hard for me to express it in words because I feel so deeply connected to not the words, but to the feelings behind what occured here last night. I guess you just have to be there sometimes. "There" in this case meant being very present, emotinally and spiritually atuned.
To me, it's the best way to live.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
What is NOT arts-in-education or the truth about "Louder, Faster, Funnier"
Soapbox time.
We just returned from a school that had recently been burned by a performer who billed his act incorrectly as arts-in-education. I'm sorry, but that does all of us a diservice. In this case, it hurt the cultrual arts representative the most because she was embarrassed in front of her children's teachers and principal. The artist in question is someone we know, so I want to be purposely vague here. Suffice it to say that most of the cultural arts rep's that we know would not come in to contact with this fellow in their search for artists. He's more of a camp performer and I rarely see him associated with schools.
BEWARE the camp performers! They are talented people who are expert in making kids laugh. We call these folks, "Louder, Faster, Funnier". Many of us kids performers have elements of LFF in our acts, but it's not usually rich enough to have a show of all funny material in the average elementary school assembly program. Yes, family nights are an exception. And most cultural arts rep's know to call for references, see the performance beforehand, etc.
I have to compliment the school's arts rep. She called me before our show and explained that she had recently presented a performer who did not go over well and asked if we could change our show in order to turn 180 degrees away from what this other performer had done (said perfomer did a supposed character education show and we were scheduled to do the same). Together, the cultural arts rep. and I settled on a different program about literacy and I am happy to report that the show went extremely well, the teachers were thrilled and the cultural arts rep's reputation has been restored.
I wish I could report that this is a first for us or the schools we've played for. It ain't! Truth is, lots of schools hire GREAT arts-in-education performers every day, BUT some of them get ambushed when they aren't careful about checking out a performer. It is a life-changing experience for a cultural arts rep. when your teachers complain and your principal looks at you like you failed him. And all of this for a non-paid position! I feel terrible for these women. They are the essence of middle managers (caught between the children, the performers, the teachers and the principal) and they get a lot of grief from all sides. It's a wonder some of them stay with the jobs!
Some don't stay, of course. We have some wonderful relationships with schools where the arts rep. has been there through three children. What a joy! This is a job that definitely gets easier as you do it more often. Plus, one usually develops trust from the administration and the teachers and a relationship with a stable of performers.
I'll get into this more at another time, but it's my opinion that arts reps booking assembly programs should have 50% of their acts be artists who they repeat year after year (or every other year) and 50% new acts. Variety and consistency have to both be served in a successful arts program. For those schools doing lots of grade-level residencies, they can have even a larger percentage of returning artists. It's also worth mentioning that because this position is a voluntary one, it should not be made too difficult. If an artist is successful (90% of the people give it a "5" on a scale of "1-5"), then by all means repeat the success. "If it ain't broke..."
This may sound like a self-serving thing to promote because I benefit from the school's that have me return regularly. This is true. However, they don't have us back ONLY because they feel warm and fuzzy about Beth and Scott. There's something we're doing every song, every performance, year after year that's working. What is that? Well, that's the essence of what arts-in-education IS and that's a subject for a later time.
Cheers!
We just returned from a school that had recently been burned by a performer who billed his act incorrectly as arts-in-education. I'm sorry, but that does all of us a diservice. In this case, it hurt the cultrual arts representative the most because she was embarrassed in front of her children's teachers and principal. The artist in question is someone we know, so I want to be purposely vague here. Suffice it to say that most of the cultural arts rep's that we know would not come in to contact with this fellow in their search for artists. He's more of a camp performer and I rarely see him associated with schools.
BEWARE the camp performers! They are talented people who are expert in making kids laugh. We call these folks, "Louder, Faster, Funnier". Many of us kids performers have elements of LFF in our acts, but it's not usually rich enough to have a show of all funny material in the average elementary school assembly program. Yes, family nights are an exception. And most cultural arts rep's know to call for references, see the performance beforehand, etc.
I have to compliment the school's arts rep. She called me before our show and explained that she had recently presented a performer who did not go over well and asked if we could change our show in order to turn 180 degrees away from what this other performer had done (said perfomer did a supposed character education show and we were scheduled to do the same). Together, the cultural arts rep. and I settled on a different program about literacy and I am happy to report that the show went extremely well, the teachers were thrilled and the cultural arts rep's reputation has been restored.
I wish I could report that this is a first for us or the schools we've played for. It ain't! Truth is, lots of schools hire GREAT arts-in-education performers every day, BUT some of them get ambushed when they aren't careful about checking out a performer. It is a life-changing experience for a cultural arts rep. when your teachers complain and your principal looks at you like you failed him. And all of this for a non-paid position! I feel terrible for these women. They are the essence of middle managers (caught between the children, the performers, the teachers and the principal) and they get a lot of grief from all sides. It's a wonder some of them stay with the jobs!
Some don't stay, of course. We have some wonderful relationships with schools where the arts rep. has been there through three children. What a joy! This is a job that definitely gets easier as you do it more often. Plus, one usually develops trust from the administration and the teachers and a relationship with a stable of performers.
I'll get into this more at another time, but it's my opinion that arts reps booking assembly programs should have 50% of their acts be artists who they repeat year after year (or every other year) and 50% new acts. Variety and consistency have to both be served in a successful arts program. For those schools doing lots of grade-level residencies, they can have even a larger percentage of returning artists. It's also worth mentioning that because this position is a voluntary one, it should not be made too difficult. If an artist is successful (90% of the people give it a "5" on a scale of "1-5"), then by all means repeat the success. "If it ain't broke..."
This may sound like a self-serving thing to promote because I benefit from the school's that have me return regularly. This is true. However, they don't have us back ONLY because they feel warm and fuzzy about Beth and Scott. There's something we're doing every song, every performance, year after year that's working. What is that? Well, that's the essence of what arts-in-education IS and that's a subject for a later time.
Cheers!
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Going Solo/Ego/Expansion
Beth, my partner and wife, has come down with laryngitis. It came upon her near the end of yesterday's Halloween show out in Bayshore, NY. None of our subs were available for today, so we had to punt and do the show in a very Scott-centered way.
The show went fine. Sure, I missed Beth's singing voice and she couldn't do much besides play the tambourine and croak in a sort of Melissa Etheridge way. But I was very pleased that the client, the kids and the parents walked away happy.
It's weird. I'm having some sort of post-show reaction. It's 11:25 p.m. I'm rarely up this late - especially given that we just set the clocks back and it should feel like it's 12:25 a.m. So what's going on with me?
I know that some of this feeling is related to letting go of ego. Lately, I've been trying to put a lid on my need for compliments and reactions to shows, songs and just about anything. As an ongoing experiment, I've been trying to limit my need to react or act based upon what others think and say. So, going solo without getting some sort of big "Hooray, Scott!" is probably a new level of challenge for my tampered ego.
I believe that we develop ego when we're young because we need it. I'm no psychologist, so forgive the digression. My view, though, is that as we grow independant from our parents we create a sense of self that's called Ego. This creature can be very useful during the tough growing years. When peer pressure is at its worst, hopefully we can turn to a sense of self that says, "I'm okay. In fact, I don't need those guys or gals to feel good." Over time, though, this ego grows as we receive compliments, awards, accomplishments, etc. It becomes especially atuned, in fact, to MORE of the same because an ego requires constant feeding, you see. It is at this juncture that I believe the ego is beginning to be more useless than useful.
Artists are not unique in their need for attention, but we certainly crave it more than most. I think that my decision to enter into the performing arts is related to a need to feel the warm glow of applause, the approval that I'm worthwhile, special and talented. Again, my ego got a lot of this as I was growing up and my ego wanted more! So, I found myself performing in college for money, gaining some notoriety on campus as an actor and a singer. It felt great, especially because I was enrolled at a school with a lot of smart people. The stage became my place to shine just as the classroom or the sports field was someone else's place to get some attention.
When I left college, I hit the local bar circuit around home as a singer guitarist. It wasn't as if I were unsuccessful - I made money and got gigs - but there was little of the ego boost that I got at a college event from my friends. After a couple of years, then, I left the music thing and went into the commercial carpet business. Yes, friends, I turned around 180 degrees and swam upstream for seven long years in the business field.
I won't bore ya'll or myself with an accounting of those years. Suffice it to say that I learned a lot about business and eventually met my wife while I was selling carpet. Like my college years, I often look at my years as a salesman as wasted ones, but I think that they were a necessary detour for me to get where I am today.
Fast forward thirteen years later to 2005 and I'm doing this kid music thing quite successfully. No, I'm not a household name you know from television or records, but I have succeeded in my field. I'm an arts-in-education professional - a respected musician and businessman and, most importantly, I enjoy doing what I do: bringing good music and drama to kids. I also get to work with Beth and some great actors. My business is growing well enough that we've been able to buy a house in Westchester, NY. Hey, not too shabby!
So, now I'm working on this ego thing. At 43 years of age, I'm looking to start trusting my own inner barometer. Why? Heck, I want to be a true artist. I want to rely not on what I think might appeal to others, but on my own truth. I'm not new to this. Many times I've written songs or made decisions based upon my own inner truth, but I want to do it in a bigger way, in ways that will expand my career to the places where I'm currently afraid to go: television, film, DVDs. In short, I want to reach more kids with my stuff, to play in the bigger arena that is national or international exposure.
As I write this, I sigh. It's very powerful for me. Truly, I have a block to overcome. I have a fear that I don't have the strength, the gumption, the drive to make this happen. All my life, I've been a big fish in a little pond. So, how am I gonna change that?
Well, getting rid of ego is one way to start. My ego is only big enough for the little pond. He can't hack it in the deeper waters of the rich, famous and super-critical. Therefore, I have to rely on something else and here's what it is: a belief that what I have to offer is great for children. I have to drive forward with the knowledge that my role in this world is to reach kids, lots of kids, with this gift that I have. To hide it, is to squander it. I need to get up every morning with the thought that the world can be a brighter place if Scott is reaching his potential.
Another sigh. I'm accustomed to hearing this voice in my head. The voice says, "Scott, forget about it. You are fine where you are and I can give you a million reasons why taking this risk is a bad idea." The voice doesn't actually have to say all that. It really comes on as a physical feeling that breathes out one word - "NO!" My brother once told me that Robert Downey, Jr. calls these voices The Shitty Committee. They are the voices in your head that belittle your ideas, your growth and try and hold you down. We all have these voices. They arrived around the same time as the ego did, huh? And like the ego, the voices need to be blown away. But first, they need to be understood.
Okay, it's time to put this to rest for now. I think I've gone and said what I needed to write in order to fall asleep.
One last thought: Beth and I are opening up our home with an event called First Saturday. Once a month, we're inviting neighbors and friends to come by and sing and play with us. I came upon a bunch of these good folk tonight and I'm both excited and nervous about having a great chorus of neighbors come over to my house. It's like - so powerful! I guess I'm overwhelemed with emotion whereas I'm usually Mr. Calm and Cool, y'know? And I think that seeing them all, having some laughs with them, made my weekend on the one hand AND it also came on the heels of this concert where I had to do most of the work. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm sure that there's a lot going on that I'm not aware of, yet.
Stay tuned!
The show went fine. Sure, I missed Beth's singing voice and she couldn't do much besides play the tambourine and croak in a sort of Melissa Etheridge way. But I was very pleased that the client, the kids and the parents walked away happy.
It's weird. I'm having some sort of post-show reaction. It's 11:25 p.m. I'm rarely up this late - especially given that we just set the clocks back and it should feel like it's 12:25 a.m. So what's going on with me?
I know that some of this feeling is related to letting go of ego. Lately, I've been trying to put a lid on my need for compliments and reactions to shows, songs and just about anything. As an ongoing experiment, I've been trying to limit my need to react or act based upon what others think and say. So, going solo without getting some sort of big "Hooray, Scott!" is probably a new level of challenge for my tampered ego.
I believe that we develop ego when we're young because we need it. I'm no psychologist, so forgive the digression. My view, though, is that as we grow independant from our parents we create a sense of self that's called Ego. This creature can be very useful during the tough growing years. When peer pressure is at its worst, hopefully we can turn to a sense of self that says, "I'm okay. In fact, I don't need those guys or gals to feel good." Over time, though, this ego grows as we receive compliments, awards, accomplishments, etc. It becomes especially atuned, in fact, to MORE of the same because an ego requires constant feeding, you see. It is at this juncture that I believe the ego is beginning to be more useless than useful.
Artists are not unique in their need for attention, but we certainly crave it more than most. I think that my decision to enter into the performing arts is related to a need to feel the warm glow of applause, the approval that I'm worthwhile, special and talented. Again, my ego got a lot of this as I was growing up and my ego wanted more! So, I found myself performing in college for money, gaining some notoriety on campus as an actor and a singer. It felt great, especially because I was enrolled at a school with a lot of smart people. The stage became my place to shine just as the classroom or the sports field was someone else's place to get some attention.
When I left college, I hit the local bar circuit around home as a singer guitarist. It wasn't as if I were unsuccessful - I made money and got gigs - but there was little of the ego boost that I got at a college event from my friends. After a couple of years, then, I left the music thing and went into the commercial carpet business. Yes, friends, I turned around 180 degrees and swam upstream for seven long years in the business field.
I won't bore ya'll or myself with an accounting of those years. Suffice it to say that I learned a lot about business and eventually met my wife while I was selling carpet. Like my college years, I often look at my years as a salesman as wasted ones, but I think that they were a necessary detour for me to get where I am today.
Fast forward thirteen years later to 2005 and I'm doing this kid music thing quite successfully. No, I'm not a household name you know from television or records, but I have succeeded in my field. I'm an arts-in-education professional - a respected musician and businessman and, most importantly, I enjoy doing what I do: bringing good music and drama to kids. I also get to work with Beth and some great actors. My business is growing well enough that we've been able to buy a house in Westchester, NY. Hey, not too shabby!
So, now I'm working on this ego thing. At 43 years of age, I'm looking to start trusting my own inner barometer. Why? Heck, I want to be a true artist. I want to rely not on what I think might appeal to others, but on my own truth. I'm not new to this. Many times I've written songs or made decisions based upon my own inner truth, but I want to do it in a bigger way, in ways that will expand my career to the places where I'm currently afraid to go: television, film, DVDs. In short, I want to reach more kids with my stuff, to play in the bigger arena that is national or international exposure.
As I write this, I sigh. It's very powerful for me. Truly, I have a block to overcome. I have a fear that I don't have the strength, the gumption, the drive to make this happen. All my life, I've been a big fish in a little pond. So, how am I gonna change that?
Well, getting rid of ego is one way to start. My ego is only big enough for the little pond. He can't hack it in the deeper waters of the rich, famous and super-critical. Therefore, I have to rely on something else and here's what it is: a belief that what I have to offer is great for children. I have to drive forward with the knowledge that my role in this world is to reach kids, lots of kids, with this gift that I have. To hide it, is to squander it. I need to get up every morning with the thought that the world can be a brighter place if Scott is reaching his potential.
Another sigh. I'm accustomed to hearing this voice in my head. The voice says, "Scott, forget about it. You are fine where you are and I can give you a million reasons why taking this risk is a bad idea." The voice doesn't actually have to say all that. It really comes on as a physical feeling that breathes out one word - "NO!" My brother once told me that Robert Downey, Jr. calls these voices The Shitty Committee. They are the voices in your head that belittle your ideas, your growth and try and hold you down. We all have these voices. They arrived around the same time as the ego did, huh? And like the ego, the voices need to be blown away. But first, they need to be understood.
Okay, it's time to put this to rest for now. I think I've gone and said what I needed to write in order to fall asleep.
One last thought: Beth and I are opening up our home with an event called First Saturday. Once a month, we're inviting neighbors and friends to come by and sing and play with us. I came upon a bunch of these good folk tonight and I'm both excited and nervous about having a great chorus of neighbors come over to my house. It's like - so powerful! I guess I'm overwhelemed with emotion whereas I'm usually Mr. Calm and Cool, y'know? And I think that seeing them all, having some laughs with them, made my weekend on the one hand AND it also came on the heels of this concert where I had to do most of the work. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm sure that there's a lot going on that I'm not aware of, yet.
Stay tuned!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Parents with Artistic Children
As you might guess, my children (Helen and Stephanie) are pretty musical. While neither of them is taking an instrument right now, they are always around music and the theater. Like my brother (Craig) and I, they are growing up in a home where the arts is respected and is often part of the fabric of our days.
When I was a kid, my parents had one of those big console stereos. Remember those? It was a credenza with a pop-up lid where the phonograph and the radio were hidden. The speakers were at either end of the credenza. I thought it was so cool and I loved going down to our playroom to open the lid and fiddle with the buttons. Even then, I was displaying a technological bent that would eventually serve me well as a musician/producer!
Mom and Dad loved musical theater, so our home was often full of the sounds of a Broadway show. Everyone sang along with their favorites - Fiddler on the Roof, Camelot, My Fair Lady - and, especially, The Music Man. My parents also played what was popular: Beatles, Dionne Warwick, Barbara Streisand, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. By osmosis, then, Craig and I got a pretty good musical education that featured excellent songwriters and wonderful performers.
It was also during these years that we joined a community theater group called The Harrison Players. Since my parents met when they both were acting in summer stock productions, it was natural for them to continue their interest in drama. My dad was more of a straight actor. I remember seeing old posters and publicity photos from his acting days. He was a handsome man, rail thin and I'm sure he had no problem "taking up the stage" with his presence. My mom was and is very funny. She played the heck out of Adelaide in Guys and Dolls a couple of times. I was very proud of my parents growing up. I idolized them, so it was very painful when they divorced when I was only twelve. Up until then, we all took part in the productions. Craig and I first played newsboys in Gypsy. Good times full of happy memories. I'm sure we both learned a lot that we still apply in our careers.
So, as a parent I'm aware that my children are getting an education just by being around us. We've been taking them to our shows since they were in Beth's womb! Do they always enjoy coming to our shows? No, of course they don't. They usually moan when we say they have to accompany us. Go figure. There's a few good reasons why they don't like it: they "lose" their parents to other kids and they've heard our songs a million times. Also, we probably embarass Helen. She's eleven and you know how middle school kids are! Stephanie, who is six, will sometimes come on stage with us, but only if Helen's not around.
I'm okay with the fact that my kids don't idolize me. It would probably be unhealthy for them and I also see them as very independent artists on their own. They are constantly making up stories with their friends or drawing or making videos and presenting shows to us. In other words, they have a healthy, creative side that they express when and how they want to. I learned early on - don't force them to do the arts. One sure way to turn them off is to make them do something that should be fun. They'll arrive on their terms, not mine.
Scott
When I was a kid, my parents had one of those big console stereos. Remember those? It was a credenza with a pop-up lid where the phonograph and the radio were hidden. The speakers were at either end of the credenza. I thought it was so cool and I loved going down to our playroom to open the lid and fiddle with the buttons. Even then, I was displaying a technological bent that would eventually serve me well as a musician/producer!
Mom and Dad loved musical theater, so our home was often full of the sounds of a Broadway show. Everyone sang along with their favorites - Fiddler on the Roof, Camelot, My Fair Lady - and, especially, The Music Man. My parents also played what was popular: Beatles, Dionne Warwick, Barbara Streisand, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. By osmosis, then, Craig and I got a pretty good musical education that featured excellent songwriters and wonderful performers.
It was also during these years that we joined a community theater group called The Harrison Players. Since my parents met when they both were acting in summer stock productions, it was natural for them to continue their interest in drama. My dad was more of a straight actor. I remember seeing old posters and publicity photos from his acting days. He was a handsome man, rail thin and I'm sure he had no problem "taking up the stage" with his presence. My mom was and is very funny. She played the heck out of Adelaide in Guys and Dolls a couple of times. I was very proud of my parents growing up. I idolized them, so it was very painful when they divorced when I was only twelve. Up until then, we all took part in the productions. Craig and I first played newsboys in Gypsy. Good times full of happy memories. I'm sure we both learned a lot that we still apply in our careers.
So, as a parent I'm aware that my children are getting an education just by being around us. We've been taking them to our shows since they were in Beth's womb! Do they always enjoy coming to our shows? No, of course they don't. They usually moan when we say they have to accompany us. Go figure. There's a few good reasons why they don't like it: they "lose" their parents to other kids and they've heard our songs a million times. Also, we probably embarass Helen. She's eleven and you know how middle school kids are! Stephanie, who is six, will sometimes come on stage with us, but only if Helen's not around.
I'm okay with the fact that my kids don't idolize me. It would probably be unhealthy for them and I also see them as very independent artists on their own. They are constantly making up stories with their friends or drawing or making videos and presenting shows to us. In other words, they have a healthy, creative side that they express when and how they want to. I learned early on - don't force them to do the arts. One sure way to turn them off is to make them do something that should be fun. They'll arrive on their terms, not mine.
Scott
Introduction
Today, I created this blog after hearing about the blogosphere - is that spelled right? - on NPR ad infinitum. I've been writing children's music for thirteen years with my wife, Beth. Together we perform music at schools and libraries. It's a great job. We've been able to support our family, buy a house and wake up every morning with the knowledge that we actually like our job.
This blog will be a place where I can offer up opinions or start discussions about a variety of topics related to children's music, my own life or the place of the arts in our kids' lives. I welcome anyone's input and will do my best to keep the postings fresh and real.
Reality for me right now is that I have to get my oldest daughter Helen at her bus stop or I'm in the parental lockup!
Scott
This blog will be a place where I can offer up opinions or start discussions about a variety of topics related to children's music, my own life or the place of the arts in our kids' lives. I welcome anyone's input and will do my best to keep the postings fresh and real.
Reality for me right now is that I have to get my oldest daughter Helen at her bus stop or I'm in the parental lockup!
Scott
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